girlfriend/boyfriend insecurities
one of my lady friends has a very insecure boyfriend, he doesn't want me to talk to her at all and never hang out with her because he's afraid I'm going to steal her from him...even though me and her are friends...she thinks that the whole thing is stupid that he is so insecure...and i want to punch him in the face, but being somewhat of a gentleman i keep my cool.
both of us still want to hangout together and we don't have plans on cheating on him so.... how do you think i should handle the situation?
+1 to Ben While every
+1 to Ben
While every relationship is different (both platonic and romantic), you have to do for yourself what makes you happy. Time moves on and relationships do to. If you try to come between your friend and her new beau, it will only create more tension in all of the relationships involved.
The one caveat that I would give to this is that if you percieve that she is in a bad relationship (ie he hits her, cheats on her, or just treats her like $h1t), I think that the gentleman would try to help her find the inner strength to leave the relationship behind. But this is a very difficult and delicate kind of situation to evaluate and interfere in.
advice for Warrgrave
Hey warrgrave,
Well I was in this exact situation about 6 months ago, the only difference being that me and the girl I was friends with had dated previously, and her current boyfriend was very insecure about us hanging out. At first I thought it was the boyfriends fault that I couldn't hang out with my friend as much. After talking with a few different people I realized that it was my friend who was allowing me to be treated poorly by her new boyfriend. She could have stood up to him and said:
"Hey you know what, look here, I don't date people that put limits on who I can be friends with. Any good relationship is based on trust, so if you don't trust me then why are we dating?"
To which point the boyfriend might respond, "I trust YOU, it's HIM I don't trust."
Your friend should then say, "My friend is not going to rape me, and if he does we will press charges. Him raping me is the only situation where anything sexual would go on, everything else comes down to trust. If you don't trust me then we can't build a relationship together"
Hopefully then the boyfriend would succumb to reason. If however your friend is not willing to say this then I say do what I did: End the relationship with the friend (or at least put it on hold for a while). I don't have time in my life for friends that let people push them around in way that results in my being treated like crap.
I do have a unique take on relationships though, so I guess listen to me at your own risk!
Glad you signed up for an account Warrgrave :D
~Benjamin Barley