Is the Joker a Gentleman?
The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gambol's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was... a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not-one-bit. So - me watching - he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, "why so serious, son?" Comes at me with the knife... "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face!" And...
The Joker: Why so serious?
The Joker
The Joker is one of the most captivating characters in the film The Dark Knight. Heath Ledger who played the Joker even won an Oscar for his portrayal of the homicidal maniac whose face was carved into a permanent smile. One of the most famous lines from the movie was the 3 word sentence: "Why so serious?"
That, my friend, is a great question.
Although the joker used that line to weave tales about how he acquired his facial scars, I think that it is an ideal question to ask yourself on a regular basis. Whenever I get stressed out by work, relationships, obligations, goals, etc... I try to take a step back and repeat the Joker's mantra, 'Why so serious?'. I've found that most of my problems in life really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Do this exercise: Write down in a letter everything that is currently vexing you and put it in a locked drawer. In a months time open the letter and I bet you will discover 9 out of 10 of the problems will have resolved themselves or at least met a satisfactory conclusion (whether it be in your favor or not). What is the point taking everything so seriously if the vast majority of the time things will work out one way or another?
I particularly love to ask myself, 'Why so serious?', when I am being annoyed with people around me. Those people could be good friends that happen to be getting on my nerves, or maybe the stranger in line at the grocery store who is being unnecessarily rude. I find that taking a mildly amused approach to life makes even the most frustrating scenarios much easier to handle.
Check Mate
This advice from The Joker is also one of my secret weapons to win arguments. When a discussion has devolved from an intelligent debate to something of a more emotional nature, I like to take a deep breath and ask myself that question. I will then smile, and continue talking about the current subject, albeit with a coy smirk curling around the edges of my mouth. Nothing makes an irritated person even more frustrated than realizing their insults and taunts are not effecting you. They are taking the argument incredibly seriously, while you have a higher perspective by realizing that what is said doesn't matter all that much. If the person calls you the name of your worst enemy, or compares you to any number of animals how does that hurt you? Are you really a donkey? Are you really the son of a whore? If you aren't, then why would it bother when they say those things? What they are saying isn't true therefore it should amuse you that they are getting so angry that they have to lower themselves to saying nothing but lies.
The Joker Philosophy
Perhaps The Joker is no Marcus Aurelius, but that doesn't mean he has nothing to offer the modern day gentleman. Truth is truth whether it comes from the lips of a king or the gnarled maw of a murderer. Next time you catch yourself being dragged to a lower place by stress, rudeness or insults, ask yourself one question: Why so serious?
Comments
To be honest, I completely
To be honest, I completely agree. There are times when I'm sure the majority of guys, including myself, in various situations, just can't handle it. We manage to lose our cool and lose our ability to function. With that, we lose the ability to act gentlemanly. To ask yourself "why so serious?" is to in my opinion, is to step aside from the current situation that makes you lose yourself and essentially say "hey" you know? "Calm down, take a deep breath, and just smile." Something you wouldn't be able to do under the current circumstances. This is a skill though, not many would be able to utilize it. With that being said I do have a question.
What separates a gentleman from an every day normal guy? Perhaps the every day normal guy still follows the etiquette to a certain extent, maybe holding the door open for a woman, or handing his jacket to his shivering friend... with that there doesn't seem to be much difference, but is there?
Normal guy VS gentleman?
I generally think that a guy who is willing to hold open a door for someone, or offer his jacket to someone colder is very close to being a gentleman. The only thing that I would add is a gentleman is confident about his choices and acts on them accordingly. There are many people who are polite and reserved out of fear. I think of a gentleman as knowing what is right, and following through with his convictions even if they aren't popular.
A great example is one I read in a fiction book years ago. There was a group of friends who attended a special dinner where one of them was the guest of honor. The guest of honor for the dinner was from the upper class but was also very down to earth, the classic 'gentleman'. As the dinner began one of his lower class friends who was not used to eating at such a fine dining establishment started to munch on an assortment of leaves that he mistook for a salad, but was actually just for decoration (although it was technically edible). All the snooty upper class people at the dinner started to look at this display of ignorance as reproachful. The gentleman, thinking quickly, avoided his friends potential embarrassment by reaching for his own decoration and he began to eat it. Since he was the guest of honor and highly respected, all the fake 'classy' people took their cue from him and began eating their decorations too. This lead to a funny conversation and a great ice breaker between the two social classes and the dinner went exceedingly well.
That is one of the best examples I can think of where a man should follow what he knows to be right even if it flys in the face of several social etiquette's.
The primary difference between a 'guy' and the modern gentleman is that a gentleman does things with thought and purpose. I feel like your every day normal guy is just floating through life like a jelly fish floats in the sea.
- Benjamin Barley